Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Listen to Your Gut

I always hear people say to "listen to your heart." While I'm not saying this is bad advice, I think that what's more important is to listen to your gut. God has given us amazing instincts and speaks to us regularly to guide us if we'll only listen. I've been trying to listen to my gut to lead me through the vicarious adoption journey. When I follow my heart or even my head I get all twisted, mess up relationships, and find myself hurting more than I have to. I've been struggling so much more lately as a birth mom than I have for a while. Then I made a switch. I prayed harder about it and listened to that quiet voice for guidance. I talked to the right people and held my tongue when needed. I went shopping today and bought A two new outfits. I didn't want to because in the past it has been painful and unsuccessful, but something told me it was time. I didn't think about the "politics" of it all. D&G are great people and if they really didn't like the outfits they could return or donate them and I'd likely never know. So I bought her what I would if I were her Mom and enjoyed the experience. I talked to the sales clerk about my little girl because in the end, I needed an experience so somehow connect me back to her and let me enjoy being hers for a moment. If I see them on her in pics that will be great, but if not, I got what I needed. I left the therapeutic shopping trip happier and much more light-hearted than I've been in a while.

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